Congratulations, Mr. Never Was!

Friday, 31 March 2006

Email To: Miss Brunette
Email From: Mr. Never Was


I'm sure you heard by now, I'm engaged and getting married....scary....quite
a world away from where I was in life just a couple months ago.

Anyhow, what's happening in your world? Are you pregnant yet? If not what
are you waiting for?

Cheers,
Mr. Never Was

_______________________________________

After a lunch of ice tea and clam chowder (friday is always clam chowder day), I clicked my inbox open and read the above message. Mr. Never Was, now that's a story...

At the start of my relationship with Mr. Never Was, he introduced me to the photography studio where I began work as a stylist. And it was that job that gave me the opportunity to leave my last significant partner. After the passing of a few years, Mr. Never Was admitted to me that he had set my interview at the studio just so I would leave my then boyfriend and, as he put it, he could go out with me.

It's remarkable how a hot shower one day can open up thoughts of people from the past and the next day receive an email from someone that was directly involved with old affairs. It almost makes me want to not think beyond this exact moment. But, Mr. Never Was had always been my mr. maybe. We've had countless drunken nights where we passed out under freeways and kissed each other when we thought the other was passed-out. But, despite those fun and childish encounters, we just weren't made for each other.

Mr. Never Was has always been kind and cruel to me, like that email. He's done my laundry and brought me food when I was too sick to leave my apartment. I've let him borrow my car to impress a date that I knew was the wrong girl for him. He'd threatened to beat up guys that hit on me at bars because he said he didn't like'em-problem was I did. One of the more iconic memories I'll have of him was an evening where we attended a performance titled "Addictions." The house was standing room only and there were several performance artists expressing ideas and concepts on Addiction. At a certain point, one of the artists asked the audience what they were addicted to. Mr. Never Was, raised a hand and stood up, the room turned to him. He took his hat off and said that he was addicted to loving me. I'll never forget the way my cheeks blushed and he stood and the room watched. So on and so on the stories have unfolded between us and and who I always believed was my mr. maybe was only a mess of affairs and unhappy frustrations. It was good for me to leave the city and to leave him. Though we were never together, we had always been intimately close.

The effects of of his email on this brunette heart was the stuff of an English romantic comedy. Or maybe I'm like Julia Roberts in My Best-Friend's Wedding. In any case, I found myself quite unhappy. My best friend in Chicago had just married and it was because I had set her up on a date that she met Mr. Right. Not that I had anything to do with them discovering love for another, I was just Cupid-like in shooting arrows & inviting them back to my place where I promptly went to sleep & they promptly made out on my couch. Alas, if I didn't feel damn sorry for myself being alone & all, I might not have been so upset when I read the email from Mr. Never Was.

Marriages are great events in which to celebrate love & feel sorry for yourself in the same beat. Now that almost all of my friends seem to be headed on paths of bliss, I going to spend my evening boxing at the gym, steaming in the sauna, and driving down to the Hennessey Bar & Grill in Dana Point. Though I have a personal resolution to not drink until Easter, I'll mix it up with a sexy outfit, a glass of cranberry juice, and hair divine enough so that I can flirt with all the boys and I won't have to worry about anyone threatening to beat them up. Now, I know better than to think that I'll meet Mr. Right, I do know that I aim to have fun and dance my worries away. I won't let a tear drop for feeling sad for myself because I certainly have no idea where the road goes...